In order to show that they will treat all Iraqi casualties of war in a dignified manner, the US has made an effort in showing that despite the fact Saddam’s sons contributed to a significant portion of the crimes committed by the regime they would still receive a dignified burial.

However, these sentiments were not shared by the soldier, Captain Chuck Hankman, responsible for actually killing them:

“When I found out they were going to just be buried I was a little bit shocked,” the soldier explained, “They were the best catch I’d had throughout the entire war. In fact, if nobody gets Saddam – they will be the catch of the war.

“In fact, I would rate them as one of my best catches of all time. The only catch I rate higher is the male Stag I caught last Autumn that looked suspiciously like Bambi, only after he grew up of course.

“If anything, that hunt was more dangerous – firstly I had to break into the Stag’s pen by crawling through the Tiger enclosure. I then had to wrestle the beast to the ground and render it unconscious before dragging it’s unconscious body to my car without being stopped by the Zoo’s security or getting pulled over by the cops.”

Captain Hankman paused for a second to reminisce before continuing:

“Of course, the prize was much bigger this time. I only got bet a crate of beer to do the Bambi raid but there was $15million up for grabs for Saddam’s sons. I’m not sure when I receive my cheque – but I’ve already started spending – I’m getting a special trophy room constructed for all of my prize catches.

“Of course, this was another reason I was disappointed about them burying the bodies, so I came to an agreement with them. I removed their heads with a hacksaw as they only told the press they’d be burying their bodies. I Fed Exed the heads back home and my wife hung them up on my wall.”

Qusay and Uday Hussein hang next to Bambi on Captain Chuck Hankman’s wall.